| Heaven is where the police are British the cooks are French the mechanics are German the lovers are Italian and all is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where |
Il paradiso è là dove i poliziotti sono Inglesi i cuochi sono Francesi (opinabile) i meccanici sono Tedeschi gli amanti sono Italiani e tutto è organizzato dagli Svizzeri L’inferno è là dove |
Religion Environmentalist
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Taoist |
Recycling happens. |
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Buddhism |
If recycling happens, it is not really recycling. |
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Zen-Buddhism |
What is the sound of recycling happening? |
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Confucianism |
Confucius say: Recycling happens. |
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Hinduism |
This recycling has happened before. |
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Islam |
If recycling happens, it is the will of Allah. |
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Protestantism |
Let recycling happen to someone else. |
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Catholicism |
If recycling happened, you deserved it. |
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Judaism |
Why does recycling always happen to us? |
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New Age |
I affirm recycling does not happen to me. |
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Atheist |
I don’t believe this recycling. |
Three men are standing in line to get into heaven.
Peter tells the first man, “Heaven’s gone over quota today, and I’ve been asked to admit only those who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”
The first man replies: “Well, I suspected my wife was cheating one me, so I went home early today to catch her in the act. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I searched everywhere but couldn’t find where the other gyu was hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and there was a man hanging from the railing! I started kicking him but he wouldn’t fall off. So I got a hammer and pounded on his fingers. He dropped 25 stories, but then landed in the bushes, stunned, but okay. So I ran into the kitchen, pushed the refrigerator over to the balcony, and over the edge. It landed on him, crushing him instantly. But all the stress and rage and exertion were too much for me; I had a heart attack right there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, “and a very horrible death. You can come in. Next! Heaven is full and I have been asked to admit only persons who have died horrible deaths. What’s your story?”
“It’s been a bizarre day,” the second man stepped up to Peter and explained. “Every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I accidentally slipped and fell over the edge. Luckily, I caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me, just as a man burst out onto the balcony. I thought I was saved, but he started kicking me! I held until he grabbed a hammer and pounded my fingers. Finally I just let go, and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just as I was thinking I’d be okay, this refrigerator came falling out of the sky and crushed me, and now I’m here.”
“That’s indeed a very horrible death,” Peter said, “You can come in. Next! Heaven is full and I have been asked to admit only persons who have died horrible deaths. What’s your story?”
“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding naked inside this refrigerator…”